The bar closes when the last court empties (so, never)◆ Maplewood, New Jersey◆ Styff Country Club, 1965  →  Stiffdinks, 1973◆ Stiff drinks & soft dinks◆ The bar closes when the last court empties (so, never)◆ Maplewood, New Jersey◆ Styff Country Club, 1965  →  Stiffdinks, 1973◆ Stiff drinks & soft dinks◆
Maplewood, New Jersey · Est. 1973
Stiff drinks and soft dinks.
Enter the Pro Shop The Origin Story
The Origin

Before the dinks, there was Styff.

The Styff Country Club archive
The Styff Country Club archive, 1965.
1965 → 1973.

It started as the Styff Country Club — tennis, gin, and a membership roster nobody could get on. When the paddles showed up in 1973, the founder did the only sensible thing: he married the family name to the family pastime.

Styff + dinks. The lawns stayed. The martinis stayed. Most of the pretension left.

1965
The Styff Country Club opens. Tennis whites mandatory.
1973
Renamed Stiffdinks Pickleball Country Club.
1981
The cardigan sells out. Never restocked.
1982
The PAA is founded in the clubhouse basement.
The Pro Shop

Outfit the Membership.

The Members' Cap — Forest Green
● In stock
The Members' Cap — Forest Green
$45
Forest-green wool, cream rope cord, club script stitched across the front. Paddle-and-martini crest on the side panel.
Order
The Members' Cap — Bone
● In stock
The Members' Cap — Bone
$45
Off-white wool, forest-green rope, crest on the side. The same hat, lighter conscience.
Order
The Club Crewneck
● In stock
The Club Crewneck
$64
14oz heavyweight, cream body, green script. Worn courtside, at the bar, and to apologize to your doubles partner.
Order
The Lounge Crewneck
● In stock
The Lounge Crewneck
$64
The dark one. Forest-green heavyweight fleece, cream script across the chest. The crew they wore downstairs after the last match.
Order
The Archive

Recently discovered in a Maplewood storage unit.

Fifty years of the club, boxed and forgotten — signs, sweaters, score cards, the 1974 rule book, a VHS nobody can play.

◆
The Storage Unit Discovery
Recovered 2026

The contents of Storage Unit 14B were discovered after forty years of forgotten payments, administrative confusion, and remarkable luck.

Inside were thousands of artifacts documenting the rise, fall, and occasional poor decision-making of Stiffdinks Pickleball Country Club.

Everything shown here was recovered from that unit. Mostly.

Recovered goods
Club life, recovered
The Collection

The whole club, boxed and catalogued.

Everything the storage unit gave back — the catalog, the trophy case, the afternoon nobody talks about, and the signs that pointed the way down to the basement.

Exhibit A · The 1973–1983 Club Catalog
Stiffdinks club catalog, 1973-1983
The complete Stiffdinks catalog, 1973–1983. Members were encouraged to circle desired items and leave the catalog open on the kitchen table where spouses might accidentally discover it.
Exhibit B · The Trophy Case
Stiffdinks trophy case
Thirty-seven trophies were recovered. Club records indicate only twenty-one tournaments were ever held.
◆
The Trophy Committee
Established 1974

Responsible for ordering trophies. Frequently ordered them before determining what event they were for.

This explains much of the collection.

Exhibit C · The Incident, 1979
Station wagon into the clubhouse, 1979
A member’s station wagon entered the east wall of the clubhouse on a Sunday afternoon in 1979. The member maintained, until his death, that the wall had moved. House Rule 02 was ratified the following Thursday.
Exhibit D · Directional Signs
PAA meeting trail signs
Recovered exactly as found, mounted along the wooded path to the Thursday meeting. Several arrows point toward rooms that no longer exist.
The Club

Maplewood's worst-kept secret.

Six courts, one pool, a bar that has never lost an argument, and a clubhouse that smells faintly of gin and fresh paint.

Courts at Maplewood
Six courts. Two of them lit until the bar closes.
The lounge
The lounge. Cut crystal, walnut paddles, the olive in the glass.
The Founders

Bob & Betty.

◆
Bob & Betty Stiffdink
Club Founders · 1973

Bob and Betty Stiffdink founded the club in the spring of 1973, after returning from a vacation they described only as “life changing.” Club records contain no further details.

Bob served as Club President from 1973 until 1986. Betty served as Club President from 1973 until 1986 as well. Neither appeared aware of the arrangement.

Together they established many of the traditions still observed today, including Opening Day, Closing Day, Ladies Day, Gentlemen’s Day, and pretending not to notice when members brought cocktails onto the courts.

◆
Bob Stiffdink
Court Superintendent · Amateur Inventor

Bob believed every problem could be solved with a new paddle design. Between 1973 and 1982 he patented nothing, documented nothing, and built more than sixty prototypes.

Most were unsuccessful.

One exploded.

◆
Betty Stiffdink
Social Chairwoman · Unofficial Mayor

Betty ran the social side of the club with remarkable efficiency and only occasional intimidation.

Attendance at cocktail hour increased 400% during her tenure.

No official records were kept regarding how.

“We didn’t invent the sport. We just invented the after-party.”
The Campaign

The advertising department, 1973–1983.

The club produced more advertisements than it had members. None were ever placed in a publication. All were framed and hung in the lounge, where the membership admired them between matches.

Stiff drinks and soft dinks
If you can hold a paddle, you're a member
Members live in it
Dress code: whatever you slept in
The bar closes when the last court empties
Worn-in from day one
Served stiff and always over the net
Betty's was white
Which came first
Sold out since 1981
Heavy glass. Stiff pour.
One size fits most problems
The PAA

Pickleball Addiction Association.

PAA — Stash the squirrel

Founded in the clubhouse basement, 1982. One game at a time. Admitting it is the first step. The second is Thursdays at seven. Everyone welcome.

(The squirrel is the mascot. He has a problem too. Don't ask.)

PAA meeting, 1976
You can stop whenever you want
PAA meeting signs
The circle
PAA Helpline — open whenever the bar is
1-800-1-MORE-NO
Thursdays at seven. Everyone welcome.
The crest

The Mark.

A paddle and a martini, crossed, with a pickleball where the olive should be — and a blackletter S on the face, for Styff. The name makes the joke. The crest proves it. The spill is on purpose.

House Rules

Posted by the door. Ignored at the bar.

01
If you can hold a paddle, you're a member.
No application. No dues. No exceptions we can remember.
02
Drop the paddle and we take your keys.
Drop the glass and you're cut off. The club punishes clumsiness in whatever currency hurts most.
03
New Jersey is never abbreviated.
A club like this does not shorten its hometown.
04
Look the part. Winning optional.
The lounge does not keep score.
05
The bar closes when the last court empties.
(So, never.)